Sometime back (still not sure if January or February) something huge happened to me. As far as I remember, people entered my apartment, drugged me and tried to make me believe that the Russian mafia was after me.
Many things are still hard to believe, but I know that corrupts cops tried to kill me in Brazil, when I was 21 years old and that I was saved at the last minute by people that lived in the poor region they took me to kill me. In fact, when I arrived there, I could hear people saying "The cops are back... they are going to kill another one". I froze, but fortunately the people there saved my life.
Well, for many years I forgot that story. Those guys actually gave me a drug and told me that it was better that I forgot. That maybe in the future I could work in a big organization, remember what happened and help them. I am sorry that I still don't remember their names, but it seems I reached the point where I could remember.
If you think the craziness part is too crazy, or too fictional, you will probably believe I am even more crazy when you read this topic.
I remember that people were trying to make me afraid of ghosts. Actually, it seems that it happened because they asked me about something I was afraid and, even under the effect of drugs, I lied. I told them that I was afraid of ghosts because when I was a kid I saw ghost many times. My father always rent big and cheaper places because people considered them haunted.
The only lie there is that I either never believed on the ghosts or, on the rare occasions that I saw them as a kid or in my dreams... I liked!
I know. That's not that incredible but, under the effect of drugs, I saw Bloody Mary. They told me that I would see her in front of me and I would get scared. I literally saw her appear in front of me. And I did get scared/afraid. But not because I am afraid of her. She appeared out-of-a-sudden, and the instinct of having that afraid look in my eyes kicked in.
Then they told me she was coming slowly to me... and in my mind I kissed her and said that I was happy to see her AGAIN.
The guys went crazy at that moment, and tried to go deep into my mind. Trying to access my childhood memories and replace things there. They couldn't. In all situations I kept saying that I loved Bloody Mary, that she was protecting me and that I had nothing to be afraid. In other situations I simply said that their drug was not strong enough on me, that they could make me act as drugged and affect minor things of my personality, but that they would never win.
Well, I don't know when it happened, but they tried again. I remember being sit in a chair. I didn't move (don't know if physically blocked or mentally blocked) and they started to tell me things like I was able to control electricity, make lights turn on and off and those things. They told me to try. I tried, the lights went off. They asked me what happened, and I said:
- "Well, it's obvious, the lights are off. I did it."
Then they started to laugh. It was all in my mind. The lights were still on.
That made me very angry and pissed off. I was looking in my own mind how I could make that stop. I was trying to reach further and make the real lights go off, without success. That's the moment that I hear something like "find the easy solution".
That was in my brain. I needed to put that idea on their brains. I started to tell them a lot of stories. Some lies, like I was the son of the Devil, that in my life many things happened duplicated, some triplicated, but the third time with something different and that it was all a sign so I would remember: I am the son of the Devil and he protects me. You will suffer. Maybe not today, but you will suffer.
Again they tried to tell me how dumb I was and that nothing will affect them, I was the one drugged.
- "I don't need to drug you. I only need to get enough energy to keep looking."
Looking in my own mind again, I remembered that brains emanate thinking to other brains. I tried to see if I was able to connect to the brain of some of them. It doesn't matter if it was a trick of my mind or real, I was. I tried to switch lights off again. One of the guys looked scared.
Then I said:
- "Now you see it? Well, the lights are still on. It's all on your brain now. Let me do it some more times."
I could see the guy worried while the other guy still didn't believe I could do anything more. He said:
- "It is known that many people have powers under the effect of drugs. But you don't deal with the mind. I am a behavioral expert. You will never reach to me."
This time I saw Bloody Mary again. She looked to me, looked to one screen. I saw it turn on, it was a kind of cell. I saw her enter the cell and start to cut the skin of the guy. At that moment all the lights started to turn off and on again. Some monitors went dead after dead, others show garbage and some simply returned on as if nothing happened. This time, both guys seemed worried, but the guy tried to convince me again:
- "You can't win this battle. I know what you are doing."
- "Seriously? Because I am not doing anything. This time, Bloody Mary is doing it. She is protecting me. I didn't even need to ask."
And then I made that guy pass out.
Some other things happened after that, but I don't think it is important.
Let's go to the facts (or what I believe to be the facts). I am still sure people drugged me and tried to screw up my mind. Maybe they really won. I thought that I was making them see things, that I made them pass out etc when they were actually putting all those stupid ideas into my mind. Yet, to me, all of that was real and, so, being real or not, I am really thankful to Bloody Mary. You don't even need to call me crazy, that's completely proven at this point.
The thing is, at some moment I had an Epiphany. Maybe there are still some errors (or lots, lots, lots of them), but I saw my own brain cells, I was able to identify the number of axons presents on the cells that hold my deepest traumas, I was able to create new connections and destroy them at will etc.
I was even told stupid things like there are no bad connections, but I easily said that if all neurons are connected to all neurons all the time, without controls, the memory will be blank or the brain will be locked in a loop.
My example to that was that if we don't give enough energy for an action and all cells are connected, all the impulses simply never arrive the destination, and nothing happens. If all the cells connect perfectly to all the others, but the cells aren't resistant enough, an impulse can get intensified and the brain will simply fry. And somehow while explaining those things I was also living those things. I remember saying that I was overwhelmed, getting to hot and that I was frying, and I kept asking to stop and cool down (literally, when I was able to talk again I asked for ice on my head).
Then... and I allow you to call me crazy again, I saw how people can interfere with other people's brains. Well, it is already known that some electricity simply go off our body when we think. This is how today there are some equipments that, by touching our skin or simply near or head can identify to where we want to look or to move.
Well, imagine what happens if you put some highly conductive metal (or anything highly conductive) in different spots of the brain on in many different cells. Not enough to fry the brain, but enough to make it much more conductive. It would naturally emanate much more thoughts, and will also perceive much more thoughts.
Do that near the brain area related to view, and the person may start to see what other people see or think, related to images. Well, that person may go crazy, but he might actually be seeing things that others are thinking.
Now, do that for many, many, many generations and what you have?
Well, I will stop here on the "scientific side".
Being a little more scientific, I really believe some people might be able to perceive or even manipulate other peoples brains, without the actual use of physical action, and I really believe that if you have metal in some of your brain cells, you will be able to make electric connections between cells without actually requiring the chemical steps that are usually needed between the communication of those cells. Also, with time, so much electricity may end-up creating a more resistant path between these cells and moving/killing all the others in that path.
Also, such excess of electricity and miscommunication is the "garbage" that our brains perceive and artificial intelligence (neural networks or similar) never have. They are constrained to only see what they are fed. Our brains are constantly fed by something, even if that something is a brain cell dying and leaking lots of toxins. If that can be used to evolve, or if that simply kills the neighbor cells, well, it doesn't matter. It is known that some crazy people actually did really great things. Sometimes, the limit between being smart, bold or crazy is simply who is near you. Will you beat them, or will they beat you?
As I am a little crazy, I will not promise anything, but I really believe I will tell more crazy stories. That's really deep in my brain.
The part 2 of this post can be found at http://paulozemek.azurewebsites.net/Epiphany/CrazinessOrEpiphany2.htm